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How to prepare and go to a muse concert - deviantART

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How to prepare, go, and successfully return from a muse concert as a muse lover
So you like the band muse ey? You've bought a ticket and are eagerly awaiting January the 31st 2007, thinking it will be the best time of your life. But whats this? Your worried that you're a muse noob and that you wont be as mused up as the rest of us? You want to be a l33t, ubercool musehead? Well my junior muse addict, let me tell you exactly how you can plug yourself in baby! How to go to that muse concert and work your hoodoo on everyone!!! And no, im not talking about the hoodie theory... HOODOO!
First of all, you need to make sure that you become hyper on the music, that you are invincible when it comes to the lyrics of all muse songs, that you have muse syndrome! That's right, actual Stockholm syndrome! You should endlessly crave to groove along to the glorious sound of muse. "Do we really need this?" you ask. But let me ask you this, do you want to be agitated and ashamed at the muse concert? It would certainly be a crying shame. I want this concert to leave you feeling good. What bliss it will be when at the concert you can recognise the exact song after one bar! How can you achieve this? This is the rule, a rule by secrecy, listen non-stop to muse. Go out and buy every album, single, and EP that you can buy, EVERYTHING MUSE GOES!
Whats next? Ahh yes. Join the muse forums. Go to microcuts.net, muse.mu, go to deviantart.com!! become a musehead! You can become one of the new born, singing for the absolution of matthew bellamy's intoxicating voice. Let his shine give you sunburn. Matthew bellamy is the sun, in your world you will be endlessly falling away with matt, and he will be falling away with you.
Now I don't want you to feel forced in, I want you to be jumping up while your reading this article saying YES PLEASE!! Please please please let me get what I want! Its muse I want! I cant take my eyes off you matt, as you eagerly search the internet for pictures of the matt and the muse. You should loading instant messenger so you can add people who share this adoration for muse so you can talk all night about how hardcore muse is. Im not straight trippin!
If you are finding that you are falling down on the ground, thinking that you cant escape this, that no matter how sober you try to keep yourself so that you can achieve this, the time is just running out and you will blackout when it comes to the concert, you are part of a shrinking universe, you are in a city of delusion. And if you don't try, the knights of cydonia (muse obsessents) and i, will personally hunt you down and you will be assasined by the muse balloonatics: Nick Johnston, jimmy kane and fillip, whose fury will haunt you forever. While this is happening, I will be giving the execution commentary, and I will only consider it just another citizen erased. That would not be nishe ey!! Ok, so im a little on the crazy side, you could call me an obsessed megalomaniac. But you just need to read TSP (aka: the small print): muse makes you happy! It is not unintended that i tell you this. Its what ive been talking about for a while now! You get the message, GET INTO A MUSE COMA! You need this as a minimum to survive what would be classified as a successful night at a muse concert.
Once you have passed stage one you can read on and start to thinking about the exciting futurism that awaits you. you need to now think about your transportation. How you will get there, how you will get home, how much money you need to take because you will be buying a muse t-shirt when you get there. Don't you dare get sucked into the supermassive black hole, thinking that you can just go there and not buy anything to support the band or show off your new found religion. There is no longer any room for the thoughts of a dieing atheist. Matthew bellamy is your god now!
You need to also keep in mind that it will be hot, packed, loud and long. I advise that you don't take anything too expensive, you don't take earplugs, because people like me will get annoyed at you! don't block out any of the muse's sweet music! It has been a long overdue wait to get into the cave of muse, besides your con-science should be telling you that you will have to find a host, cause he wont stick around while you do this! There will be a recess or interlude where you can go to the toilet and rest your ears a bit, so don't go thinking this is just hyper-chondriac music. Its not!! There will be no crazy dwarf men in the crowd trying to get little micro cuts into your skin. something else to remember: don't try to go crowd- surfing. You will get kicked out by the security guards. BIG NO-NO! that would really be a map of the problematique. if you hate this idea then ill love you. now these are just the basic exo- politics, but it really is quite basic. Get there on time, enjoy it the right way and don't get kicked out!
You also need to scream your lungs out. Don't worry though, it will not be only uno (one) person, EVERYONE WILL BE SCREAMING! If you don't do this, then everyone around you will think that you are just some screenager who cant hack the noise. You don't want to be caught up in that kind of spiral static.
Once the concert is over you must bow to eternally miss the feeling of being in the actual presence of muse. But that will be easily done! They are no dead star! Once you get home you make a gallery or muscle museum that is dedicated to the unforgettable concert. It will only boost your pink ego box to be able to tell your friends that you were actually in the same building as all three members of muse. You can tell them all about what the showbiz was like, and how they were like beautiful starlights, who are just dark shines.TRY to not go into hysterics. Its exciting, yes, but you don't want to be put into a mental institution because you cant get the space dementia, or that crazy paino thing out of your head.
Lastly, you need to get onto a muse forum and write up a soldiers poem: what an awesome experience that it was to go and see muse live in concert, and how you made your journey there. Just like a soldier you have trekked your way into finally successfully going and being a l337 muser. You can take a bow.
Enjoy, my muse lover foetus!!!! With this as your guide the concert will be a blast!
Appendix
The following are all the songs that muse have ever written:
From their first album showbiz:
-Sunburn - Muscle Museum
- Fillip
- Falling down
- Cave
- Showbiz
- Unintended
- Uno
- Sober
- Escape
- Overdue
- Hate this & I'll love you
- Spiral Static
From their second album origin of symmetry:
-New Born
- Bliss
- Space Dementia
- Hypermusic
- Plug In baby
- Citizen Erased
- Micro Cuts
- Screenager
- Dark Shines
- Feeling Good
- Megalomania
-Futurism
From their third album Absolution:
-Intro To Apocalypse Please
- Apocalypse Please
- Time is Running Out
- Sing for Absolution
- Stockholm Syndrome
- Falling away with you
- Interlude Out Falling Away
- Hysteria
- Blackout - Butterflies and Hurricanes
- TSP - The Small Print - Endlessly
- Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist
- Rule By Secrecy
- Fury
From their latest album black holes and revelations:
-Take a Bow -Starlight
-Supermassive Black Hole
-Map Of The Problematique
-A Soldier's Poem
-Invincible
-Assassin
-Exo politics
-City of Delusion
-Hoodoo
-Knights of Cydonia
-Glorious
And finally their b-sides:
-Agitated - Ashamed
- Bedroom acoustics
- Can't take my eyes off you
- Coma
- Con-science
- Crying Shame - Dead Star
- Do we need this?
- Easily - Eternally Missed
- Execution commentary
- Forced in
-Fury
- Futurism
- Host
- House Of The Rising Sun
- Hyper Chondriac music
- Instant messenger
- In your world
- Jimmy Kane
- Map of your head
- Minimum
- Nature_1
- Nishe - Piano thing
-Pink ego box
- Please let me get what i want
- Recess
- Shine
- Shine acoustic
- Shrinking universe
- Spiral static - The Gallery
- The Groove - Twin / Balloonatic
- Yes please
*All the songs listed above were used in the article, except those in red writing.
(From left to right) Matthew Bellamy: vocalist, guitarist and pianist. Chris Wolstenholme: bass, backing vocals. And Dominic Howard: drums.
Definitions, meanings and translation of muse language:
Ey: it's just basically the cool way of asking a question. It isn't ever really needed either. It can also be used to mean hey.
Eg: -ey! How you goin?
- So you wanna be a muse head ey?
Noob- it is the shortened version of 'newbie' meaning someone who does not really know much about a certain subject.
Eg: you muse noob!
Mused up: meaning that you know a lot about muse
L33t: the shortened version of elite, leet, or l337 but also replacing numbers that look like letters. L33t means that you know everything about what you are talking about.
Ubercool: the shortened supposedly cooler version of super cool!
Musehead: someone who loves muse.
Plug yourself in baby!: meaning that this guide will help you be able to become a l33t musehead.
Hoodoo: A folk magic tradition, a mixture of Voodoo and folk traditions, it usually involves charms, potions, spells, etc.
Hoodie theory: The hypothesis that men automatically become more attractive when wearing a hoodie.
Eg:Look at that guy over there! The Hoodie Theory in action...
Hoodie: sweatshirt with a hood and a very large pocket in front, capable of carrying, but not limited to, walkman and headphone, candy being smuggled into movie theatres, pencil and notebook, pet snake that your parents don't know about, and certain less-legal substances that you don't want people finding. Considered a signature by some, so not something you want anyone else in your area to have a similar one of. Worn around waist when too hot for otherwise, NEVER worn around neck.
Hyper on the music: you really love listening to the music. It makes you happy.
Muse syndrome: all you want to listen to is muse
Stockholm syndrome: you would abuse, torture, kidnap etc to get what you want. (Which is in this case muse)
A rule by secrecy: meaning it is a secret rule that guarantees you get what you want.
New born: someone who is now a musehead, or becoming one.
Singing for the absolution of Matthew Bellamy's voice: it means that you are literally yelling out to hear Matthew Bellamy sing, because you think it will give you absolution.
He will be falling away with you: meaning that he will love the fact that you adore him
The matt, the muse: when 'the' is put in front of a word it means that it is simply THE best, or the one and only.
Hardcore: means totally awesome
Straight trippin: means being ridiculous or being difficult.
Eg: I can't go out tonight cause my mom is straight trippin.
Part of a shrinking universe: means that something is not actually possible or true.
City of delusion: also meaning that something is absurd.
Knights of Cydonia: a club of people who love and worship muse. Also the name of a muse song (black holes and revelations)
Muse balloonatics: also a club of people who love and worship muse, and a muse b-side.
Just another citizen erased: meaning that if you died I wouldn't care because you were just another person that isn't obsessed with muse so may as well not be alive.
That wouldn't be nishe ey: the direct translation of this is: "that wouldn't be nice hey?" nishe is just another word for cool that people who think they are l337 (leet) museheads made up as a way to communicate with each other.
Get into a muse coma: meaning that you are completely obsessed with muse. All you want is muse. You live, eat and breathe muse.
Futurism: the future and what is going to come to pass.
Sucked into the super massive black hole: a certain belief or stereotype that people create about something.
Eg: lonely old ladies own cats is a super massive black hole
Thoughts of a dieing atheist: you no longer have to think about a religion or that there is no god because now all you really care about is muse. You worship the band almost like it was your god of your religion.
Cave of muse: the concert hall where muse will be performing
Your con-science should be telling you to find a host, cause he wont stick around while you do this: con-science is the cooler way of saying conscience, and cause is the shortened version of because. This sentence is basically saying that your conscience is telling you that you love muse so much that you want to listen to it no matter how loud and hurtful to your ears it is, and that if you are thinking about trying to block some of the sound out, your conscience will not want to stay with you, so you will have to find a substitute, because it goes against what it really believes.
Exo- politics: basically means the excellent politics but shortened.
Screenager: a teenager who loves to watch the small screen in front of him/her.
Eg: John is a screenager who does nothing but play computer games and watches TV, it's little wonder that he failed his exams.
Can't hack: means that they cant take what is happening to them because it is too much for them to handle.
This kind of spiral static: means the stereotype people will give you if you do something a certain way.
No dead- star: meaning that they are stars! They are great, and they wont burn out like a dead star has.
Muscle museum or gallery: means a shrine that is dedicated to something muse related (muscle is the word just before muse in the dictionary and museum is the word straight after it.) it is subtly hinting the word muse. Only l33t people would know this code.
Boost your pink ego box: meaning that it will give your heart and your ego a big boost because you have done something totally cool.
What the showbiz was like: the fancy way of saying what the big concert was all about.
Beautiful starlights, who are just darkshines: again it is the language of muse l33t$ (elites). It means that the band are stars that are so bright that they can light up the dark, meaning overshadow other bands in their greatness.
Space dementia or that crazy piano thing: space dementia (origin or symmetry) and piano thing (b-side) are both muse songs.
Muser: someone who loves muse.
You can take a bow: meaning that you have completed something.
Muse lover foetus: meaning that you are in the early stages of being obsessed with muse. A blast: heaps of fun, very successful.
By Cassie Williamsyear 10PAGE: 11
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